Now it’s on. Senate Republicans are standing firm and will not even hold a hearing for President Obama’s next Supreme Court nominee.

“The judiciary community has unanimously recommended there are no hearings, I agree with that,” Sen. Mitch McConnell said.

But not so fast, Sen. McConnell, because it sounds like the Democrats have a surprise up their sleeves.

Related: The real reason Republicans plan to stiff-arm the president

“They will have to back off their position with their tail between their legs,” Sen. Chuck Schumer said.

Who could the president pick that would make the Republicans back off with their tail between their legs? Clearly Democrats have something planned.

And I think I know what it is.

The president is going to nominate Jesus Christ! Who else could it be?

For those of you not acquainted with Jesus or his judicial record, it’s true that he has never written any court opinions himself. However, his supporters, who by the way, absolutely worship him, will tell you he is not only a man of rock-solid integrity but comes from a great family.

Now some accounts do mention that Jesus was disobedient &#8211 once &#8211 staying behind to teach in the temple without telling his parents.

He was occasionally careless about his health &#8211 40 days in the desert without eating &#8212 unhealthiest crash diet ever. And he does have a soft spot for adulterers, but then again, so does Congress! He’s not much into self-defense so he might have a slight Second Amendment problem.

But overall, his judicial record is darn good. As far as we know, in the past 2,000-plus years that he’s been sitting at the right hand of the Father, not one of his rulings has been overturned.

So expect Jesus Christ to be the nominee. And as for the timing, I can’t say for sure, except that logically it would have to be after Easter.

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