Christmas is over, another year gone

And the house was all quiet, when finally it dawned

On the Missus and me as we sat reminiscing

That something important was utterly… missing!

I flipped through the channels from one to nine hundred

Where was the story I wanted, I wondered?

So I finally turned and I said to the Missus

“My gosh, what became of this year’s war on Christmas?”

Remember the warnings? Remember the books?

Now Christmas explodes everywhere that you look.

Computerized lights on each house you drive by

Like Christmas has merged with the Fourth of July.

In fact there are folks who don’t know when to stop.

They go and push Christmas way over the top.

And it isn’t just mangers, and wise men and stars

Now you have deer antlers sprouting from cars.

Why, there I was last week just driving along

When I heard someone blasting a loud Christmas song

And what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a car dressed like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer!

It had more Christmas spirit than any car should

With a seven-point rack and a nose on the hood.

And I said when I knew they could no longer see us,

That’s what happens when Rudolph has sex with a Prius.

There’s only one thing this could possibly mean:

That Christmas has made it through 2015.

And I bet that next year it will still have that glow.

Even if climate change melts the last flake of snow.

Now turn up the sound – so the carpool can hear

The toast that I raise at this same time each year:

You worship your way, I’ll worship mine

Put rum in the fruitcake and we’ll both be fine.